Boundary setting is a very essential part of anxiety management.
Do you know what boundaries are?
Do you know why they are needed?
We can understand boundaries better by looking at the fences, walls and doors around and in our home. These fences protect our home from thieves, wild animals and unwanted visitors. They keep us safe and help us have a peaceful mind.
Fences and doors are boundaries that are needed for our safety.
When we set boundaries in life, it helps us develop better self-esteem, healthier relationships and more happiness in life.
Boundaries also help maintain our emotional safety.
Boundaries are limits that we set that helps us differentiate who we are compared to who the other person is.
For example: If my Dad keeps instructing me with what I should eat, how I should walk what I should wear, where I need to go, how I need to be, that may be appropriate if I was 5 years old.
But not appropriate if I am 17 or 19 or 25 years old. If he does this, he is invading my boundaries. And that is not appropriate and not good for me.
Watch the video where I share some more examples about boundaries.
Learning to say NO is an important aspect of boundary setting.
When we are unable to say NO to our loved ones, to our friends to our colleagues, we do not have boundaries with them.
When we do not have boundaries, we allow others to intrude into our space and allow them to affect us physically, emotionally, we allow them to take up our time.
Boundaries are limits that we place in our lives, in our relationships. They could be physical or emotional boundaries.
If someone abuses you in a discussion, that is a sign that boundaries have been crossed. If someone yells at you, uses harsh or uncouth language, those are transgression of boundaries. If someone touches you in an improper way, that is boundary transgression.
People cross boundaries of time too.
Boundaries of time can also be crossed when well-meaning friends or relatives can take up our time and we are unable to say NO to them. When someone calls us announced and keeps talking without considering whether we were busy with something else, that is a transgression of our boundary.
Setting boundaries is important because that means we are standing up for ourselves, for our needs, for our opinions, for our feelings.
Boundary setting helps us live our lives at our own terms. That helps us value our needs, value our feelings and stand up for ourselves.
I hope this was helpful to give you a perspective of what boundaries are and why they are needed.
We all struggle with different aspects of boundary setting. Some of us may struggle with an inability to say NO, some may struggle with not able to share their opinions or feelings.
What do you struggle with? Do share where you struggle with laying down boundaries in the comments below.