Overthinking is a disease of modern times and all of us are a prey to it. Overthinking also can increase anxiety and depression.
In this article, I will share what are the possible reasons that cause us to overthink and brood.
Understanding these reasons will give us more clarity, prevent us from beating ourselves up when we overthink. In addition, that will also give us the motivation to move beyond overthinking and helping ourselves reach our own calm zone.
I believe that there are two primary causes of overthinking. They are patterns and fears.
Let's examine patterns first. What do I mean by patterns?
We all have inherited different patterns of thinking and patterns of behavior from our parents and families. Our family has generously passed on their patterns to us, both the good and the bad. Just recognizing that helps us in managing our thoughts better.
We might follow a family pattern of overthinking.
Maybe my father had this habit of thinking repeatedly about something, brooding or ruminating in a particular way.
Maybe my mom or a grandparent had the pattern of overthinking, a pattern of worrying constantly or a pattern of pessimistic thinking.
Just acknowledging that many of our own thinking patterns may have come from our parents and ancestors, is a very helpful exercise in self-awareness.
Patterns can also be connected to behavior. These behavioral patterns are frequently learned behaviors.
We might have patterns of behavior that we have learnt from our parents, teachers, friends, siblings, uncles, aunts and many others.
Habitual Behavioral patterns
Behavioural patterns could be habit related like driving too fast, smoking, biting your nails, eating too many sweets or chocolates, watching a lot of movies etc
Communication based behavioral patterns
Behavioural patterns could also be reflected in our own way of speaking, behaving and handling problems.
Speaking in a loud voice, being very diplomatic and non-controversial, being manipulative, being too submissive, allowing others to trample over us are some examples of behaviors that may have been learnt from others.
It is important to understand that a lot of patterns are learnt and therefore we can also unlearn them.
The other big cause of overthinking are fears.
Fears get increased when we go through traumas and difficult experiences.
Traumatic events invariably affect us and may lead to overthinking.
What are traumas?
Any event that has a traumatic effect can be a trauma. They can be disasters, losses, deaths, breakups, losing a job, losing a friend and any other event that can cause a traumatic effect.
Trauma is also caused by seemingly normal events, which have traumatic effects.
For example, a young child being bullied at school is traumatic to the child. A young girl being eve-teased or hurtful words spoken between friends can also be traumatic.
A child failing in exams, a woman being yelled at by her husband or an employee humiliated in public all of these have the potential to be traumas.
When we experience traumas, that gives rise to fears and with fears, we may end up overthinking.
The mistakes that we do or the ones that others do may also make us fearful and lead towards overthinking.
Once we experience the consequences of mistakes, we start being fearful and may want to avoid mistakes in the future.
This can lead to a whole lot of overthinking.
We overthink before making future decisions, we overthink before making new ventures, our confidence is shaken.
As you see, fears frequently create a loop of overthinking and anxiety.
So if you see carefully, overthinking can be caused by patterns and fears.
When we develop a greater awareness about why we overthink, we have greater power to move out of the habit of overthinking and we will be able to calm our minds much more effectively.
Some other questions that may come to mind are the negative effects because of overthinking and what are some of the ways that we can come out of this tendency to overthink. I will answer these questions in another article.