Emotional pain is often misunderstood and mishandled. It is a situation where the heart is aching because of a situation, or an event or maybe a relationship issue.

Emotional pain is the suffering you experience when dealing with difficult feelings. Experiencing grief or loss emotionally is considered emotional pain. Experiencing prolonged anger and frustration can lead to emotional pain.

The mind and the emotions are also intertwined. For example, anxiety can increase the intensity of emotions and the severity of emotional pain. On the other hand, emotional pain may cause more anxiety.

You may feel broken or unable to function  because your heart feels too heavy and the mind refuses to cooperate.

Many a time, emotional pain could be  triggered by a relationship issue. It could be a relationship with a spouse, parent, friend or even the relationship you have with yourself.

Some examples of common situations that might trigger emotional pain could be:

•  My best friend doesn’t talk to me any more.
• My spouse controls me and disrespects me.
• My parents do not understand my perspective.
• My teenage child speaks rudely to me.
• My boss micromanages my work and drives me nuts.
• I am unable to manage my life.

Do you find any of these situations relatable? Do you experience emotional pain as a result of such interactions? Do you feel overwhelmed because of this and do not know how to deal with it?

Emotions are a part of life. But when the distress we experience because of emotions stays longer than necessary, it becomes emotional pain.

Left unattended, emotional pain can start affecting our life and cause a lot of havoc.

So, How do we deal with emotional pain? That's truly an important question.

Awareness is a great first step to moving beyond emotional pain.

Just observing and increasing our awareness of our emotions is a good starting point in emotion management. 

Watch this video where I share the importance of observing.

Coming soon: 10 ways to deal with emotional pain

Have you heard of the four happiness chemicals? 

Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin, and Endorphin?

 Understanding and being aware of what these chemicals are and how they help us be more happier goes a long way in helping us manage our anxiety.

 And today, I'm going to share with you a simple way to remember about these chemicals with an acronym called DOSE:

D. O. S E.

'D' Stands for Dopamine.

 (Dopamine is the motivation producer or reward producer)

 When does the body produce dopamine? The body produces more dopamine, when we feel accomplished.

So, when you complete a task that you have set out to do and you complete the project that you wanted to do when you do a self-care activity, maybe do an exercise or you have done the practice self-care for yourself, you are increasing the dopamine level in your body.

 You may also have a rush of dopamine when you eat your favorite food because somewhere the body associates that act of pleasure with a sense of accomplishment. 

This is may also explain how many a time we indulge in our favorite foods when we are low and that immediately makes us feel better.

To increase your dopamine levels, make sure to set goals and work at reaching them.

 'O' for oxytocin

(The Love hormone)

 Oxytocin is the love hormone or love chemical which is produced when we feel a sense of connection, when we feel a sense of belonging. 

This hormone is generated when you hug your mom or when you play with your daughters. Or when you pet runs to you,  wagging its tail, and you touch it and pet it.

 And that's when you have a warm feeling in your heart and you say, hey, I feel so good, I feel so happy and is the body producing, oxytocin. Oxytocin is also generated when we appreciate ourselves, when practice kindness to ourselves and others.

'S' for serotonin, 

 (serotonin is the calming chemical)

 Serotonin is the chemical that the body produces that helps us reduce stress and really get back to the state of calmness. 

And what helps generate more serotonin?

Lots of things help produce more serotonin in the body: For example: when you practice meditation or mindfulness, when you walk outside in nature, maybe walk across the beach, watching the sunset and just feeling the cool breeze.

 When the body produces serotonin, you feel so calm and happy inside and feel so peaceful.

 When you are listening to some very calming, relaxing music, your body is producing serotonin. 

Sometimes the body also produces serotonin when you're just sitting there next to your child and you're watching a little baby gurgling away and that's such a warm, peaceful feeling too. These are some of the ways where the body produces serotonin and makes you feel more calm, more relaxed and more at peace.

'E' for Endorphins

(Pain relieving hormones)

 Endorphins are pain relieving chemicals which really help in reducing the level of physical or emotional pain in the body.

 When does the body produce endorphins?

So, when you do exercise, the body produces a lot of endorphins and that's why they always recommend exercise for all kinds of mental health issues.

The body produces a lot of endorphins when you're listening to music especially if it's your favorite music or when you're eating dark chocolate. When you're watching a funny movie or  a comedy show and you're laughing away, the body is producing a lot of endorphins.  

The body loves all these activities, because it reduces the level of physical and or emotional pain and makes you really feel good inside. 

So these are the four happiness chemicals.

Remember the acronym D. O. S. E. Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin and Endorphin.

Remember that we need all the four chemicals, all these four hormones, to really increase our overall happiness index in our body.

Always remember to have a DOSE of happiness today.

Why is routine important for mental health?

Why do we need to have routines?

We will explore these questions in this article to understand more deeply about the role routine has to play in managing our mind.

When you practice routine, it brings a certain structure to the day.

But many of you who are going through different kinds levels of anxiety or depression, whether it's mild or moderate or intense, maybe struggling to maintain a routine or to keep up a consistent routine.
Now this is understandable, but this is not very helpful.

Why are routines really needed? 

When we are inconsistent with a routine, maybe we have followed the routine for two or three days, sometimes we are not able to follow after that for a week or two and then again, go back to the same routine, so we are kind of jumping and swinging like a pendulum.

So, what happens when there is no routine?

When there is no routine, the brain does not know what to expect.
When there is no routine, there is no clear structure to the day
When there is no clear structure to the day, there is no clear structure to the mind.

 The other thing that routine does is  because of the structure, because of organizing your day much better.
It reduces overwhelm.

 When you have something in the routine, that means that there is a greater chance, a greater probability of you doing it, but if you don't have something in the routine there's probably almost a negligible chance of you doing it.

So routine is a great, great tool and it really is very, very important for all of us and especially if you are going through any levels of anxiety, depression or overthinking, just having a simple routine in the day goes a long way in ensuring that your day is a happy day.

Do you have an overthinking mind that keeps thinking about a problem?

 About a situation? About a conversation? Again and again and again?

 Do you have a mind that keeps going back to the past or keeps worrying about the future? and refuses to come to the present moment or stay in the present moment?

 Do you have a mind that keeps running from problem to problem?

 And if one problem is solved, it just thinks about the next problem.  If one problem is addressed or listened to, it just goes to another problem.

 If you answer yes to any of these three questions then you might be prone to anxiety.

 and Anxiety Management is only Mind Management.

 Think of this mind like a mad monkey that's creating so much of clutter, so much of noise that's breaking things all around and you're just standing there completely helpless and you don't know what to do.

 That mad monkey is the anxious mind.

 And when we learn how to tame this mind, when we learn how to train this mind, we bring it into control, then the mind listens to us, it doesn't take us for a ride.

 Rather, we are able to control it, manage it and we find more happiness, joy and peace.

 I like this analogy of this mad monkey, but if you have any other analogy about understanding the mind, please drop in a comment and let me know, I would love to hear that.

Please always remember that anxiety management is mind management

 Sometimes big chunks of change can scare us into not taking any action or we might abandon after the first few steps. 

Micro change can help us feel more secure with the idea of change and the realistic component of it ensures higher probability of action.

 Taking action is an important component of anxiety management and following the micro-change approach is far more reassuring, easier and sustainable, especially when we are trying to also grapple with anxiety.

We saw the different ways that anxiety can affect the body. Knowing this and being aware of the symptoms in the body can help us be better prepared to understand and manage anxiety.